Transforming criticism into wishes
In the heat of an argument, it’s far easier to say what we don’t want than what we do.
For example: “I hate that as soon as you get home after work you turn on the TV. You’re so lazy.”
This is not an effective way to start a conflict discussion.
For conflict conversations to succeed, it is much more effective to state your feelings as neutrally as possible and transform your complaint about your partner into a positive need.
Try this instead: “I miss you when you’re away at work during the day. When you come home and turn on the TV right away, it makes me feel lonely and distant from you. Instead, before you turn on the TV, can we take some time to talk about our days together?”
By expressing your desire in a direct, gentle, and neutral way, it is much more likely that your wish will come true.
Action of the week: : Try re framing a complaint you have about your partner into a positive need.
Poll: Do you think NZ should ban social media for youth?
The Australian Prime Minister has expressed plans to ban social media use for children.
This would make it illegal for under 16-year-olds to have accounts on platforms including TikTok, Instagram, Facebook and X.
Social media platforms would be tasked with ensuring children have no access (under-age children and their parents wouldn’t be penalised for breaching the age limit)
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Do you think NZ should follow suit? Vote in our poll and share your thoughts below.
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85.1% Yes
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13.9% No
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1.1% Other - I'll share below
What's your favourite recipe for courgettes?
Kia ora neighbours. If you've got a family recipe for courgettes, we'd love to see it and maybe publish it in our magazine. Send your recipe to mailbox@nzgardener.co.nz, and if we use it in the mag, you will receive a free copy of our January 2025 issue.
Railing planters
To gain extra growing space, make and hang these easy-to-build planters on almost any wooden fence or deck railing. Use Resene FX Blackboard Paint so you can easily identify what plants are in each. Find out how to create your own with these easy step by step instructions.
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