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Congratulations to the winners of the Wellington Airport Regional Community Awards (Lower Hutt). The fabulous Polyfestival Hutt Valley won the Supreme Award and the TAKA Trust is back in the news, winning the Education and Child/Youth development category.
There has been an ongoing discussion amongst political leaders (and Neighbourly members) around whether te reo should be compulsory in schools across New Zealand. It comes after news that the number of people in New Zealand able to speak te reo Māori is declining. What do you think? Should it be … View moreThere has been an ongoing discussion amongst political leaders (and Neighbourly members) around whether te reo should be compulsory in schools across New Zealand. It comes after news that the number of people in New Zealand able to speak te reo Māori is declining. What do you think? Should it be made compulsory? Do you think this will help retain the language?
Neighbourly's own Sarah Moore has started studying te reo Māori follow her journey here.
We're very excited about the TAKA Wifi project- one of many Empowering Tamariki initiatives which aims to level the playing field for all children in Lower Hutt. The TAKA Trusts' main fund raiser for projects like this is the Naylor Love Hutt City Charity Golf Tournament at Shandon … View moreWe're very excited about the TAKA Wifi project- one of many Empowering Tamariki initiatives which aims to level the playing field for all children in Lower Hutt. The TAKA Trusts' main fund raiser for projects like this is the Naylor Love Hutt City Charity Golf Tournament at Shandon Golf Club, Petone on 30 November. It's a great day out with a feel-good factor. You can find out more about sponsorship and/or participation. A new website is on its way but in the meantime see www.huttcitygolf.co.nz...
ACC Minister Hon. Iain Lees-Galloway recently swapped his suit for shorts and a tee to join a ‘Live Stronger for Longer’ strength and balance class. These classes help us as we age to retain lower body and core strength, remaining active to avoid falls.
No-one is bullet proof, falls happen … View moreACC Minister Hon. Iain Lees-Galloway recently swapped his suit for shorts and a tee to join a ‘Live Stronger for Longer’ strength and balance class. These classes help us as we age to retain lower body and core strength, remaining active to avoid falls.
No-one is bullet proof, falls happen and some can result in broken bones, pain and long healing times and can also make us fearful of falling again. Losing confidence can really affect quality of life.
Live Stronger for Longer strength and balance classes are growing nationwide. Visit www.livestronger.org.nz and join a class near you, you’ll find lots of practical information, advice and resources on how to live an active, healthy and independent life.
Proudly brought to you by ACC, MoH, HQSC and your local community health providers.
***2018 CAT RESCUE CONFERENCE***
We still have plenty of tickets available for our annual conference. The conference is set to be a good one, with speakers from Wellington City Council, Upper Hutt Animal Rescue Society, Outpawed and Cat Rescue Dunedin. We will also have an interactive TNR workshop… View more***2018 CAT RESCUE CONFERENCE***
We still have plenty of tickets available for our annual conference. The conference is set to be a good one, with speakers from Wellington City Council, Upper Hutt Animal Rescue Society, Outpawed and Cat Rescue Dunedin. We will also have an interactive TNR workshop for anyone wanting to learn about trapping.
The conference is not just aimed at rescuers, it is also a brilliant opportunity for members of our community to learn how to help their community cats and meet the people who can help you along the way.
Please email us if you would like to know more about this opportunity at wellington@outpawed.org.nz or for Tickets - $15 each which includes tea/coffee on registration, morning tea and lunch to cover some of the costs. This is a not for profit event.
The conference is on Saturday 11th August from 9 am until 3 pm at Mac's Function Centre in Wellington City.
Visit our website www.outpawed.org.nz....
Purchase an Entertainment Book Membership from us to support our cause, and have it delivered FREE to any address in New Zealand OR purchase a Digital Membership to enjoy hundreds of great value offers now!
Offer is only valid until midnight on Tuesday, 31 July 2018!
Be quick and explore the … View morePurchase an Entertainment Book Membership from us to support our cause, and have it delivered FREE to any address in New Zealand OR purchase a Digital Membership to enjoy hundreds of great value offers now!
Offer is only valid until midnight on Tuesday, 31 July 2018!
Be quick and explore the best of what Wellington and Manawatu has to offer. Entertainment Memberships are the perfect guide to Wellington finest restaurants, cafés, attractions and much more.
www.entertainmentbook.co.nz...
Enter promotional code ‘NZPOST’ at checkout to receive free delivery.
I've been buying the book for over 15 years. We love that we get to try restaurants, attractions etc. that we may not have without the book. I've definitely found some new favourites. – Kerry
Upper Hutt Animal Rescue Society
Frances Clemence
francesishere@msn.com
04 5501001
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!
It's Plastic Free July and we're helping kiwis go plastic-free! Our natural Croco organic produce bags are washable, reusable and foldable. We've got three 4-Piece Combo Sets to giveaway - simply LIKE or THANK this post to enter!
Our combo set of organic reusable produce bags will… View moreIt's Plastic Free July and we're helping kiwis go plastic-free! Our natural Croco organic produce bags are washable, reusable and foldable. We've got three 4-Piece Combo Sets to giveaway - simply LIKE or THANK this post to enter!
Our combo set of organic reusable produce bags will help you ditch those single-use plastic bags for good. Keep some in your bag or in the back of your car.
Buy in July and you'll SAVE! For every 4-Piece Combo Set you buy, we will plant a tree in an area of need. You order one, we plant one! It's just one small way we're helping kiwis reduce their use of plastic.
LIKE or THANK this post by Tuesday 31st July 2018 to enter! See T&Cs.
We have some great things planned to tie in with this year’s theme - shining the light on innovation. This includes a competition to win one of five traps to help you look after your own backyard! Stay tuned for more to come on our Facebook page next week.
www.gw.govt.nz...
The Westpac Stadium Members Club offers the best sporting experience in town! With a 360 Reserve membership secure tickets to all your favourite sports including rugby, football and cricket; plus enjoy access to the Members lounges with unbeatable views of the field and great food & beverage … View moreThe Westpac Stadium Members Club offers the best sporting experience in town! With a 360 Reserve membership secure tickets to all your favourite sports including rugby, football and cricket; plus enjoy access to the Members lounges with unbeatable views of the field and great food & beverage options (Ts & Cs apply).
Phone us today on 04 470 0423 to find out more.
Kia Ora neighbors Orders taken now for Steam Puddings made on Wednesday and Fridays..Pick up in Naenae ..Limited amount made pm for faster reply 🙂
There were no major delays this morning and all school services including the Hutt Valley ran as normal.
Metlink’s aim is to deliver all services throughout the day, with total focus on school services. However the situation is evolving and we still urge our customers to check your MyMetlink … View moreThere were no major delays this morning and all school services including the Hutt Valley ran as normal.
Metlink’s aim is to deliver all services throughout the day, with total focus on school services. However the situation is evolving and we still urge our customers to check your MyMetlink account, the Metlink Commuter app or check real-time updates at metlink.org.nz before they travel.
We should have a good sense of any potential impacts as the day progresses and we will be providing updates as they come to hand.
We apologise for the inconvenience and are working to minimise the impact of the disruption.
Read more in our service update
Please continue supporting our fundraising for our adorable cats and kittens by purchasing the 2018 | 2019 Entertainment Membership from us today. Hundreds of great value offers are ready for your enjoyment, while also helping our furry little friends!
PLEASE SUPPORT US NOW
… View morePlease continue supporting our fundraising for our adorable cats and kittens by purchasing the 2018 | 2019 Entertainment Membership from us today. Hundreds of great value offers are ready for your enjoyment, while also helping our furry little friends!
PLEASE SUPPORT US NOW
www.entertainmentbook.co.nz...
Your feedback is important to us – We want to know if Te Kāuru is heading in the right direction.
Our Subcommittee wants to hear your thoughts and suggestions on the Te Kāuru Upper Ruamahanga Floodplain Management Plan.
What does it mean to accept your partner’s influence? And how do you do it?
In the Japanese martial art of Aikido, there’s a central principle called Yield to Win, which is a method of using your opponent’s energy and actions against them to win a fight, rather than strong-arming them into… View moreWhat does it mean to accept your partner’s influence? And how do you do it?
In the Japanese martial art of Aikido, there’s a central principle called Yield to Win, which is a method of using your opponent’s energy and actions against them to win a fight, rather than strong-arming them into submission. It allows you to conserve energy and choose much more effective and efficient tactics.
But we definitely don’t want you using Aikido moves on your partner!
For our purposes, yielding to win means accepting, understanding, and allowing your partner’s perspective, feelings, and needs into your decision-making process as a couple. It means really listening to your partner and forming compromises so that you both feel satisfied.
Which is really more like yielding to win-win, and that’s we’re aiming for.
When men learn how to accept their partner’s influence and work toward a win-win solution, the outcomes are wonderful in heterosexual marriages. In a long-term study of 130 newlywed couples, we discovered that men who allow their wives to influence them to have happier marriages and are less likely to divorce.
And this critical skill is not limited to heterosexual couples at all. In fact, research shows that same-sex couples are notably better at it than straight couples. Straight husbands can learn a lot from gay husbands, and they’d be wise to do so.
Rejecting influence is a dangerous move
Marriage can absolutely survive moments of anger, complaints, or criticism, and even some longer periods of negativity if a conflict is managed in a healthy and respectful way. They can even flourish because conflict provides an opportunity for growth as a couple. But couples get in trouble when they match negativity with negativity instead of making repairs to de-escalate the conflict.
As Mahatma Gandhi famously said, “An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind.”
Clearly, counterattacking during an argument does not solve an issue or help to form a compromise. It does not allow your partner’s influence in the decision-making process. Our research shows that 65% of men increase negativity during an argument. And the Four Horsemen—criticism, defensiveness, contempt, stonewalling—are telltale signs that a man is resisting his wife’s influence.
This is not to insult or belittle men, and usually, it’s not a personality fault or cognitive shortcoming. Rather, it is to enlighten men as to some instincts and tendencies they might have, but of which they aren’t aware.
There are simply some differences in how men and women experience conflict (for example, men are more prone to stonewalling, and 85% of stonewallers in our research were men). It takes two to make a marriage work and it is vital for all couples to make honor and respect central tenets of their relationships. But our research indicates that a majority of wives—even in unhappy marriages—already do this.
This doesn’t mean women don’t get angry and even contemptuous of their husbands. It just means that they tend to let their husbands influence their decision making by taking their opinions and feelings into account.
Unfortunately, data suggests that men often do not return the favor.
If heterosexual men in relationships don’t accept their partner’s influence, there is an 81% chance that a marriage will self-implode.
Men, it’s time to yield to win-win.
What men can learn from women
Some say that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. While this is a common saying that cannot be true (obviously, we’re all from Earth and we have much more in common than we think), men and women often do feel different from each other.
This difference can start in childhood. When boys play games, their focus is on winning, not their emotions or the others playing. If one of the boys get hurt, he gets ignored and removed from the game. You see this in team sports all the time. Maybe someone comes to help carry the injured player off the field, but the game must go on.
But here’s the difference. In The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Dr. John Gottman explains that “the truth is that ‘girlish’ games offer far better preparation for marriage and family life because they focus on relationships.” And that isn’t necessarily about gender roles, but about learning emotional intelligence.
Developing emotional intelligence is the first step
The husband who lacks emotional intelligence rejects his partner’s influence because he typically fears a loss of power. And because he is unwilling to accept influence, he will not be influential, and that dynamic will result in gridlock.
On the other hand, the emotionally intelligent husband is interested in his partner’s emotions because he honors and respects her. While this husband may not express his emotions in the same way his partner does, he will learn how to better connect with her by listening to and validating her perspective, understanding her needs, and expressing empathy.
When his partner needs to talk about something, an emotionally intelligent husband will set aside what he’s doing at the moment and talk with her. He will pick “we” over “me,” which shows solidarity with his partner. He will understand his partner’s inner world and continue to admire her, and he will communicate this respect by turning towards her.
His relationship, sex life, and overall happiness will be far greater than the man who lacks emotional intelligence.
The emotionally intelligent husband can also be a more supportive and empathetic father because he is not afraid of expressing and identifying emotions. He and his partner can teach their children to understand and respect their emotions, and they will validate their children’s emotions. And our Emotion Coaching parenting program is based on the power of emotional intelligence, which we can all benefit from learning.
How to accept influence
It’s most likely that men who resist their wives influence do so without realizing it. It happens, and that’s okay, but it’s time to learn how to accept influence. It is both a mindset and a skill cultivated by paying attention to your partner every day and supporting them. This means working on three essential relationship components: building your Love Maps, expressing your fondness and admiration, and accepting bids for connection.
And when conflict happens, the key is to listen intently to your partner’s point of view, to let them know that you understand them, to ask them what they need, and to be willing to compromise. One way to do this is for each of you to identify your core needs and search, together, for where those needs overlap. Then you can find common ground upon which to make decisions together.
That’s how you accept influence. Want to have a happy and stable marriage? Make your commitment to your partner stronger than your commitment to winning.
If you do that, you win, your partner wins, and, most importantly, your marriage will thrive.
Ngaanyatjarra Health Service are seeking Primary Health Care Nurses and are offering highly competitive remuneration packages.
This role contributes and supports the overall multidisciplinary and integrated approach to the remote health team's endeavour to treat illness, promote health … View moreNgaanyatjarra Health Service are seeking Primary Health Care Nurses and are offering highly competitive remuneration packages.
This role contributes and supports the overall multidisciplinary and integrated approach to the remote health team's endeavour to treat illness, promote health well-being, maintain health systems, provide education, training, encouragement and support community health initiatives.
Highly competitive remuneration package, attractive salary packaging options, professional development incentive and 11 weeks off per year.
Expressions of Interest - Permanent and Casual positions available.
For more information and to apply please visit www.nghealth.org.au
Indigenous applicants are encouraged to apply.
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