A Couples Guide to Handling Holiday Conflict
Holiday stress can make this time of year challenging for couples and families. Dr. John Gottman’s research on thousands of couples reveals some useful tools to handle conflict and keep your holidays happy.
Accept Your Partner’s Influence
Accepting your partner’s influence will help to avoid escalating conflict. Dr. Gottman has learned that women tend to be better at accepting influence than men, but men who learn how to listen to and respond to their partner’s influence stand to benefit with a happier and longer-lasting marriage than those who don’t.
There’s good reason for men to listen. Results of an American Psychological Association survey show women are more likely than men to report increased stress during the holiday season. Sources of stress include lack of time, lack of money, and pressure to give or receive gifts. The results of increased stress can make a woman feel sick and tired, and lose interest in sex.
A couple who listens to each other, and takes into account each other’s wishes and feelings when making decisions, will have much happier holidays. Look for the parts of your partner’s point of view that make sense to you, even if you disagree. Consider each option from their perspective and validate their emotions.
Solve Your Solvable Problems
The choices couples face around the holidays can create situational problems that are solvable. Children may insist on gifts that aren’t affordable. An invitation to an event may conflict with other plans.
Dr. Gottman has identified a five-step model for solving these solvable problems. The skills needed can be learned with very little training.
Most of us have these skills already:
Soften your start-up
Learn to make and receive repair attempts
Soothe yourself and each other
Compromise
Process any grievances so that they don’t linger
Poll: Should the government levy industries that contribute to financial hardship?
As reported in the Post, there’s a $30 million funding gap in financial mentoring. This has led to services closing and mentors stepping in unpaid just to keep helping people in need 🪙💰🪙
One proposed solution? Small levies on industries that profit from financial hardship — like banks, casinos, and similar companies.
So we want to hear what you think:
Should the government ask these industries to contribute?
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59.9% Yes, supporting people is important!
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25.7% No, individuals should take responsibility
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14.4% ... It is complicated
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Documenting the RiverLink Project around Melling, Pharazyn St and Marsden St
Kia Ora, Neighbours. For the last couple of years I've been documenting with my camera the changes in my area around the extensive work going on with the RiverLink project (Melling Interchange/New Melling Bridge/New Melling Railway Station/ Melling Station walk bridge / Clearance of Pharazyn St and Marsden St and Stop bank work).
I pass no judgements on the work. My photos simply record what's happening.
Early blog posts are photo essays of the the demolition of Pharazyn St and Marsden St residential and industrial properties. Later photos are the more up to date records happening right now.
I'd welcome your feedback, especially with better information about what's happening, as there seems to be a number of sites specialising in their own work but not a comprehensive coordinated site with details and links.
Here's the link. Enjoy. www.riverlinkphotos.blogspot.com...
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