2588 days ago

Intimate Conversations

Ann from Relationship Wellbeing Specialist

Not really. Not entirely. Fear was taken from the reality of Merriam-Webster. Intimacy was taken from the reality of human relationships. Ultimately, when we are afraid of the possible consequences, we cannot trust our partners to listen and fully support us – especially not when it comes to our deepest feelings, hopes, or dreams. And why should we?

Our internal wiring prevents us from opening our hearts to those we fear will hurt us emotionally, from worries that they will let us down, to terror and anxiety about their potential to leave us. This is, in the language of evolutionary psychology, called an adaptive trait. It’s healthy. We need to protect ourselves!

Dr. Gottman understands this. His book on trust tells us to listen to these feelings, but also provides incredibly important methods for discerning how trust functions (or malfunctions) in our relationships. He doesn’t waste any time in getting to the core of the issue: trust begins in emotional attunement. Emotional attunement is often rooted in the ways in which we speak to each other – trust is built and broken in our everyday conversation.

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More messages from your neighbours
13 hours ago

Poll: If we want to reduce speeding, what do you think actually changes driver behaviour? 🛻🚨🚓

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

In the Post's article on speeding penalties, the question is asked whether speeding fines are truly about road safety, or are they just a way to boost revenue for the Crown?

What do you think? Should speeding motorists receive speeding fines or demerit points?

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If we want to reduce speeding, what do you think actually changes driver behaviour? 🛻🚨🚓
  • 31.2% The sting of a fine (Money talks!)
    31.2% Complete
  • 68.8% The threat of demerit points (Nobody wants to lose their license!)
    68.8% Complete
186 votes
5 days ago

Poll: Are you still heading to your local for your caffeine fix, or has the $$ changed your habits? ☕

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

Wellington’s identity is built on its cafe culture, but with costs climbing, that culture is under pressure. We’ve seen the headlines about recent closures, and it’s a tough pill to swallow along with a $6+ coffee.

We all want our favourite spots to stay open, but we also have to balance our own budgets ⚖️

We want to know: How are you handling the "coffee math" in 2026? Are you still heading to your local for a chat and a caffeine fix, or has the cost of living changed your habits?

Keen to read more about "coffee math"? The Post has you covered.

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Are you still heading to your local for your caffeine fix, or has the $$ changed your habits? ☕
  • 46.4% I avoid spending money on coffee
    46.4% Complete
  • 44.1% I still indulge at my local cafe
    44.1% Complete
  • 9.5% Irrelevant - coffee is not for me
    9.5% Complete
263 votes
8 days ago

Share your favourite main crop potato recipe and win a copy of our mag!

William Hansby Reporter from NZ Gardener & Get Growing

Love potatoes? We will give away free copies of the May 2026 issue to readers whose potato recipes are used in our magazine. To be in the running, make sure you email your family's favourite way to enjoy potatoes: mailbox@nzgardener.co.nz, by March 1, 2026.

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