1579 days ago

Solicitor in court cross examination ..

John from East Invercargill

Seeing as we are still stuck at home and I have a captive audience I thought I might as well hit you with this :
A farmer named Paddy had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company.
In court, the Eversweet Company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Paddy.
'Didn't you say to the police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor?
Paddy responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I'd just loaded my fav'rit cow, Bessie, into da... '
'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?'
Paddy said, 'Well, I'd just got Bessie into da trailer and I was drivin' down da road.... '
The solicitor interrupted again and said, ‘Your Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question. '
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Paddy's answer and said to the solicitor: 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite cow, Bessie'.
Paddy thanked the Judge and proceeded.’ Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my fav'rit cow, into de trailer and was drivin' her down de road when this huge Eversweet truck and trailer came tundering tru a stop sign and hit me trailer right in da side. I was trown into one ditch and Bessie was trown into da udder. By Jaysus I was hurt, very bad like, and didn't want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moanin' and groanin'. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans.
Shortly after da accident, a policeman turned up. He could hear Bessie moanin' and groanin' too, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
Den da policeman came across de road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, 'How are you feelin'?'
'Now wot would you say?'

More messages from your neighbours
7 hours ago

Further appeal for information following Queens Park arson

The Team from Southern District Police

Police are continuing to investigate following an arson in Queens Park, Windsor on Wednesday 3 December.

Police received a report at around 12:20am that four vehicles had been deliberately set alight.

As part of our investigations, we would like to hear from anyone who was on or around Queens Drive between 12am and 12:30am on Wednesday 3 December , or anyone with information that could assist.

Please contact Police via 105 either over the phone or online, referencing file number 251203/6133.

Information can also be provided anonymously via Crime Stoppers on 0800 555 111.

Image
26 days ago

Some Choice News!

Kia pai from Sharing the Good Stuff

Many New Zealand gardens aren’t seeing as many monarch butterflies fluttering around their swan plants and flower beds these days — the hungry Asian paper wasp has been taking its toll.

Thanks to people like Alan Baldick, who’s made it his mission to protect the monarch, his neighbours still get to enjoy these beautiful butterflies in their own backyards.

Thinking about planting something to invite more butterflies, bees, and birds into your garden?

Thanks for your mahi, Alan! We hope this brings a smile!

Image
4 days ago

Scam Alert: Fake information regarding December Bonuses from MSD

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

The Ministry of Social Development is reporting that fake information is circulating about new ‘December bonuses’ or ‘benefit increases’

If you get suspicious communication, please contact Netsafe.

Image