954 days ago

I Hear You - The Tool of Hope

Rhonda Neighbourly Lead from Hastings Central

An Intention of Connection - The Tool of Hope
Written by Funeral Celebrant Rhonda Diprose
Copyright 2022

Many times in life, we all need the gift of being seen and the blessing of being heard.
During the times of death, grieving, mourning and loss - or other high trauma events, we can easily find ourselves in situations where we have disconnected with those who could otherwise be in our circle of support. That disconnect is created sometimes due to conflict. Conflict often results from someone or more than one person feeling they are not being heard or their words and actions are discounted.
If our grief consumes us, and we do not look to see what is happening for others. Or sometimes the person grieving just needs a person to listen. But if this does not happen then the result can be upset, annoyance and anger between two people. The problem then is that we get into a stand-off, and no one feels heard or listened to, so the vicious cycle of upset continues. Round and round we go.
We need to find a solution.

How do we have an Intention of Connection?
Listening is the tool of Hope.
Listening with our ears and, of course, listening with our eyes.

We can create HOPE with:
"I see you."
"I hear you."
"I hear what you are saying"
"I hear what you are not saying".

Active listening with the intention of connection could literally mean we listen to hold that space for the person to be heard. We listen to understand what is being said and what is left unsaid. We listen knowing that the speaker is processing their thoughts, feelings, and thinking.

Often when we listen to people, we listen to respond with a reply. We do not always need to reply except to check that we have heard correctly or show empathy.

We could respond with the wisdom of showing that we have heard and understand how things are for that person at that time.

ACTION:
Practice makes perfect!

Be Hope Focussed so that you can understand the grieving person and see them in that space.
For the next few weeks, practice active listening to your family members, friends and work colleagues - try listening so they are heard. If you practice this skill, you are more likely to create Hope for someone facing high trauma, such as the death of someone they love.
Be encouraged!
You Can Be A Difference Maker!

Be encouraged!
You Can Be A Difference Maker!
If you need someone who can listen to you, you are welcome to get in touch with me to make an appointment time. RhondaDiprose@gmail.com

More messages from your neighbours
11 hours ago

Poll: Is dumping an issue in your neighbourhood?

The Team from Neighbourly.co.nz

There's nothing worse than strolling around the streets in your neighbourhood and seeing dumped rubbish.

Have you noticed this in your area? What could we do to combat this around the country?

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Is dumping an issue in your neighbourhood?
  • 42.1% Yes, I've seen some illegal dumping
    42.1% Complete
  • 57.1% No, our neighbourhood is pretty good
    57.1% Complete
  • 0.8% Other - I'll share below
    0.8% Complete
385 votes
1 day ago

Can you crack Today’s neighbourhood conundrum?

Riddler from The Neighbourly Riddler

Without a bridle or a saddle, across a thing, I ride a-straddle. And those I ride, by help of me, though almost blind, are made to see. What am I?

Do you think you know the answer to our daily riddle? Don't spoil it for your neighbours! Simply 'Like' this post and we'll post the answer in the comments below at 2pm.

Want to stop seeing riddles in your newsfeed?
Head here and hover on the Following button on the top right of the page (and it will show Unfollow) and then click it. If it is giving you the option to Follow, then you've successfully unfollowed the Riddles page.

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13 hours ago

New World Havelock North car park

Julie Neighbourly Lead from Havelock North

Sitting in my work van, in the new New World carpark and I’ve been getting dirty looks. I get it. My van is halfway into the driving area. Literally. If you look, even from a distance, you’ll see my back end is almost hard against the fence, with my towball around the corner of the fence.
My work van is over 6m long and the car parks are only about 4.5m. The only spaces I can park out of the way are the nearest and the furthest corners from the door. And that still means parking across another carpark. Today, both those parks were taken.
Now, before you point out that I shouldn’t bring such a big vehicle to the supermarket, 1) why not? Everyone needs to shop; and 2) I drive a retirement village resident passenger van. And they have as much right to shop as anyone.
Okay, so park in the mobility parks. Nope. I don’t have a Mobility decal or placard. And, those parks are the same length as all the others.
So, if you want to get me to stop blocking the way, do the supermarket survey on your receipts and ask for one way driving around the carpark (clockwise is the most logical and safest) and oversized parks. Almost every other supermarket has them. Vehicles are getting bigger, parks aren’t.