I Hear You - The Tool of Hope
An Intention of Connection - The Tool of Hope
Written by Funeral Celebrant Rhonda Diprose
Copyright 2022
Many times in life, we all need the gift of being seen and the blessing of being heard.
During the times of death, grieving, mourning and loss - or other high trauma events, we can easily find ourselves in situations where we have disconnected with those who could otherwise be in our circle of support. That disconnect is created sometimes due to conflict. Conflict often results from someone or more than one person feeling they are not being heard or their words and actions are discounted.
If our grief consumes us, and we do not look to see what is happening for others. Or sometimes the person grieving just needs a person to listen. But if this does not happen then the result can be upset, annoyance and anger between two people. The problem then is that we get into a stand-off, and no one feels heard or listened to, so the vicious cycle of upset continues. Round and round we go.
We need to find a solution.
How do we have an Intention of Connection?
Listening is the tool of Hope.
Listening with our ears and, of course, listening with our eyes.
We can create HOPE with:
"I see you."
"I hear you."
"I hear what you are saying"
"I hear what you are not saying".
Active listening with the intention of connection could literally mean we listen to hold that space for the person to be heard. We listen to understand what is being said and what is left unsaid. We listen knowing that the speaker is processing their thoughts, feelings, and thinking.
Often when we listen to people, we listen to respond with a reply. We do not always need to reply except to check that we have heard correctly or show empathy.
We could respond with the wisdom of showing that we have heard and understand how things are for that person at that time.
ACTION:
Practice makes perfect!
Be Hope Focussed so that you can understand the grieving person and see them in that space.
For the next few weeks, practice active listening to your family members, friends and work colleagues - try listening so they are heard. If you practice this skill, you are more likely to create Hope for someone facing high trauma, such as the death of someone they love.
Be encouraged!
You Can Be A Difference Maker!
Be encouraged!
You Can Be A Difference Maker!
If you need someone who can listen to you, you are welcome to get in touch with me to make an appointment time. RhondaDiprose@gmail.com
What workplace change would you like to see most?
This coming Monday is Labour Day in New Zealand. This public holiday marks when the eight-hour workday and 48-hour workweek became law in 1899. The idea started with Samuel Parnell, a carpenter in Wellington, who in 1840 refused to work more than eight hours a day. Since skilled workers were in short supply, his employer had to agree.
As more skilled workers arrived, employers tried to change working conditions, but Parnell and others kept pushing for better rights. In 1890, Parnell led a Labour Day parade of 1,500 people to promote the eight-hour day. He passed away shortly after, and nine years later, Labour Day became an official public holiday.
Do you feel that we have reached the ideal in working environments yet? What rights are you passionate about relating to employment? Share your thoughts!
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What's your favourite recipe for gooseberry?
Love gooseberries? Share your favourite way to enjoy them. We're looking for our readers' favourite family recipes for this delicious crop. Send yours to mailbox@nzgardener.co.nz, and if we use it in the magazine, you will receive a free copy of our December 2024 issue.
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