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A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her.
One of the bags was ripped, and every once in a while, a $20 note fell out onto the footpath.
Noticing this, a Policeman stopped her, and said “Excuse me Ma’am, there are $20 notes falling out of … View moreA little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her.
One of the bags was ripped, and every once in a while, a $20 note fell out onto the footpath.
Noticing this, a Policeman stopped her, and said “Excuse me Ma’am, there are $20 notes falling out of that bag”
“Damn” says the little old lady, “I’d better go back and see if I can find them and pick them up”
“Not so fast” says the cop, “How did you get all that money? Did you steal it?”
“Oh, no” replied the little old lady, “You see, my back yard backs up to the local sports stadium and each time there is a game, a lot of fans come by come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden.
It used to really tick me off, kills the flowers you know. Then I thought, ‘why not make the best of it?’
So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, ‘OK buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.’
“Well, that seems only fair,” said the cop, laughing. “OK, Good luck! Oh, by the way, what’s in the other bag?”
"Well, you know", said the little old lady, "not everybody pays."
A man was stopped by a fishery officer recently with two chilly bins full of live fish in water, leaving a river well known for its fishing.
The fishery officer asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
"Nah, my friend, I ain't got no license. These here are … View moreA man was stopped by a fishery officer recently with two chilly bins full of live fish in water, leaving a river well known for its fishing.
The fishery officer asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
"Nah, my friend, I ain't got no license. These here are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?"
"Yep. Every night I take these fish down to the river and let 'em swim round for a while. Then I whistle and they jump right back into this chilly in and I take 'em home."
"That's a bunch of rubbish! Fish can't do that!"
The man looked at the fishery officer for a moment and then said, "It's the truth. I'll show you. It really works."
"Okay, I've GOT to see this!"
The man poured the fish into the river and stood and waited. After several minutes, the fishery officer turned to him and said, "Well?"
"Well, what?" said the man.
"When are you going to call them back?"
"Call who back?"
"The FISH!"
"What fish?"
To do our part, here's two phrases we believe everyone should know in Te Reo Māori.
Hi neighbours,
What’s your local Covid-19 testing centre, and has it been busy or empty lately?
Please vote and comment!
Want a lot of honey in one go? I've been filling 5.5kg honey buckets. The bees have foraged this areas in in the Puketi forest in the Far North. Great for doing lots of cooking or baking that requires plenty of honey! Buckets are food grade. Light coloured honey with lots of Towai in it. Mild … View moreWant a lot of honey in one go? I've been filling 5.5kg honey buckets. The bees have foraged this areas in in the Puketi forest in the Far North. Great for doing lots of cooking or baking that requires plenty of honey! Buckets are food grade. Light coloured honey with lots of Towai in it. Mild taste.
I sell the 5.5kg buckets for $60.
Pickups not allowed during current alert level but I can still use the courier to deliver these for $6 within urban Auckland.
If you would like one, message me OR email Donbuckhoney@gmail.com OR just go straight to my website:
www.donbuckhoney.co.nz...
If you would like to pick one up after lockdown ends (from Massey), be in touch and I can put you on a wait list.
Thank-you!
"An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a … View more"An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turk, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean.....
all go to a bar......
The doorman stops them and says “Sorry I can’t let you in without a Thai."
P.S. How many of you checked the list? 😂🤣😂🤣😂
I as just contacted by whoever runs Neighbourly and told my latest post would not be published because they didn't like a word I used. The dictionary definition of the word used is "a layer of dirt or froth on the surface of a liquid". The word was used in a direct quote from the NZ … View moreI as just contacted by whoever runs Neighbourly and told my latest post would not be published because they didn't like a word I used. The dictionary definition of the word used is "a layer of dirt or froth on the surface of a liquid". The word was used in a direct quote from the NZ Herald, it would appear then that is ok for MMS media to use it but not me. Funny really when Neighbourly is owned by Stuff, who promote themselves as champions of free speech.
I have just received the message I have cut and pasted below, I make the assumption that I am about to be disconnected by the thought police.
Ashley (Neighbourly)
5/09/2021, 8:56 pm NZST
It has been brought to our attention that you disagree with a moderation decision recently made on one of… View moreI have just received the message I have cut and pasted below, I make the assumption that I am about to be disconnected by the thought police.
Ashley (Neighbourly)
5/09/2021, 8:56 pm NZST
It has been brought to our attention that you disagree with a moderation decision recently made on one of your posts. At this time, your post has not been removed but we thought we would get in touch to tell you a bit more about our moderation practices.
Neighbourly was created to enable great, positive community discussions. If content is flagged for review, we will moderate it in context of our Guidelines and Neighbourly's purpose to be a space for helpful and positive community conversations.
We understand that you may feel unfairly moderated in this circumstance, and apologise for any harm caused. Every member’s voice is important to their community - we simply ask you to use it respectfully, while keeping in mind our Guidelines and Neighbourly’s purpose.
Please note that all members agree to the Neighbourly Guidelines upon creating an account. If you feel unable to agree with our Guidelines and moderating decisions, we will have to ask you to kindly leave the platform.
If you would like more details on what to do in these circumstances, please have a look at these articles:
Why was my content taken down, and what can I do?
Can I say whatever I like on Neighbourly?
Ngā mihi,
Ashley
Member Experience Specialist
www.neighbourly.co.nz...
This email is a service from Neighbourly. Delivered by Zendesk
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Welcome 2 the West Auckland LinUX eNthusiasts Network & Share a Toast Virtually @ whereby.com/a1.computeko in your Web browser, No install req'd... Because of the ToyMota Corona Virus Lockdown! yoU'Re All Welcome 2 Join Us from Any Available Operating System including MacOS, Android, … View moreWelcome 2 the West Auckland LinUX eNthusiasts Network & Share a Toast Virtually @ whereby.com/a1.computeko in your Web browser, No install req'd... Because of the ToyMota Corona Virus Lockdown! yoU'Re All Welcome 2 Join Us from Any Available Operating System including MacOS, Android, Linux or M$ Virus Magnet WinDoze, However Unfortunately the Hui will be Ltd to 45 minutes. Otherwize We'll Next Convene in the Flesh @ the Henderson RSA 1st Floor ( Above the Baa ) on the 21st of ROcktober @ 6 PM ( ToyMota Corona Virus Lockdown Permitting ) Always the 3rd Thirstday of the Month... Hope 2 C yoU there & Do Avoid that Evil Bill Gates ToyMota Virus!!! ;-)K
West Auckland LinUX eNthusiasts Network T__' Shirt Layout.pdf Download View
Sweet and sour pork is a Chinese inspired dish made with juicy pieces of pork tenderloin, bell peppers, onion and pineapple.
This dish is particularly popular in westernised Cantonese cuisine and may be found all over the world. Here is a photo of Sweet and sour pork prepared by our Advanced … View moreSweet and sour pork is a Chinese inspired dish made with juicy pieces of pork tenderloin, bell peppers, onion and pineapple.
This dish is particularly popular in westernised Cantonese cuisine and may be found all over the world. Here is a photo of Sweet and sour pork prepared by our Advanced cookery student Reesha from home during Lockdown 2021.
Find recipe on our blog, link below.
Hey neighbours, is it time to get your finances in order? If lockdown has focused your mind on the state of your bank account, we’re here to help.
Stuff has launched MoneyIQ, an eight-week email course that will give you all the basics you need to get your money sorted and start working towards … View moreHey neighbours, is it time to get your finances in order? If lockdown has focused your mind on the state of your bank account, we’re here to help.
Stuff has launched MoneyIQ, an eight-week email course that will give you all the basics you need to get your money sorted and start working towards a brighter, richer future. You can sign up for free here.
Once the majority of New Zealand has been vaccinated we expect the borders will start to open with lower risk countries. Looking to the future when are you planning to travel internationally for leisure?
From pine cones to tree-shaped centrepieces, have fun creating your own Christmas decor with Resene’s festive, on-trend colour combinations. Combine your favourite Resene testpot colours to match your Christmas style. Find out how to create your own.
To use a quote within the article from the Stuff journalist, Charlie Mitchell, "The more time I spend in this world, the more I understand this is the perfect propaganda tool."
www.stuff.co.nz...
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