How well do you know your neighbours?
Some people refuse contact with neighbours even when they live in adjacent houses / apartments.
Do you know your neighbours? I don’t. I have been living in the same apartment for three years, but haven’t exchanged a word with my neighbours. Wonder why?
Let me explain. I’m kind of an antisocial. Don’t make friends easily, and don’t talk to strangers. An antiseptic smile is the best I can manage. Prefers to keep to myself and stick to the same circle of friends and relatives. Well, you can call me an introvert. That would explain my lack of interaction with neighbours.
My wife’s exactly the opposite. Yet, she has failed to strike up a conversation with the occupants of the flat across the corridor. The doors face each other. At times, we open the doors simultaneously, and the elderly lady behaves as if we don’t exist. So do the two young adults. We hardly get to see the other neighbours.
How young children make a difference
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Maybe they want to be left alone. I understand that. Yet, it feels strange. Weird, actually!
Humans, they say, are social animals. Our lives are interlinked and interdependent in some way, especially when we share a building. The blank stares and the radio silence in the elevators baffle me. Isn’t this a community? I ask myself.
I lived in another apartment for 20 years, and the experience was totally different. We had plenty of friends in the building and the neighbouring blocks. Some of those friendships exist even today, even after they have moved to other countries.
Much of the indifference may be due to big-city syndrome. People are so busy with their lives that they don’t have time for socialising.-
What’s the difference? One reason was our children. They were young and had plenty of friends. I remember a time when the doors of three neighbouring flats, including ours, were never locked as children kept moving from one house to another to continue their games. That was when my daughter was a toddler. At least 25 children in the neighbourhood would attend my son’s birthdays.
The children’s parents became our friends, and we called on each other for festive occasions and pujas. Sweets used to be sent and received during Diwali. Help used to be sought and given. Seems like another era.
Even after we moved, my wife maintained friendships in our old neighbourhood. She frequently travels there to attend birthdays, pujas, picnics, and other community activities. I often tease her, saying that her social skills haven’t worked in the new neighbourhood. She shrugs it off, saying it takes two people to strike a friendship.
Much of the indifference may be due to big-city syndrome. People are so busy with their lives that they don’t have time for socialising. When you get home from work late, visiting the neighbours is the last thing on tired minds.
What about weekends and holidays? Plans would have been made weeks ahead, and grocery shopping and prayers at a temple or a church are a weekend phenomenon. In homes where husbands and wives work, Saturdays and Sundays can turn into marathon cooking sessions to cover the week. All that doesn’t leave much time for neighbours and friends.
In many cases, it’s down to privacy. People value their privacy, which is why they keep to themselves. Imagine if your neighbours are nosy parkers. They could make lives miserable with incessant questions and the insatiable curiosity to know everything that happens in the neighbourhood.
None of us would want that. Right? Then why am I complaining?
You don’t have to take the biblical phrase “Love Thy Neighbour” literally. A little bit of social contact between neighbours wouldn’t hurt. And you don’t have to be friends with all the neighbours. A hello, a good morning, a smile, or a nod would suffice.
Do I do that? Yes, I do. Especially when I’m riding the elevator. It feels good when others return the gesture. A smile is the best. So keep smiling.
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Poll: Have you ever been bullied?
People associate bullying with children in schools, but it can actually stretch beyond childhood to workplaces or neighbourhoods.
This Friday is Pink Shirt Day, which began in Canada in 2007 when two students took a stand against homophobic bullying after a new student was harassed for wearing pink. People across the globe are now encouraged to wear pink on this day to take a stand against bullying and promote inclusivity.
Have you or your whānau ever experienced bullying? Share your thoughts on Pink Shirt Day below.
Type 'Not For Print' if you wish your comments to be excluded from the Conversations column of your local paper.
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79.7% Yes
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20% No
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0.4% Other - I'll share below
Controlling Crime
I think National was going to go hard on crime. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be working.
www.rnz.co.nz...
Record numbers are leaving NZ – who could blame them?
Migration figures show a record number of New Zealanders are choosing not to stick around – and you don’t have to look hard to figure out why, writes Q+A presenter Jack Tame.
No data point says more about the current state of our country than the fact that record numbers of New Zealanders don’t want to be here.
Over the last two years, the quarterly release of migration statistics has steadily plotted a massive exodus of New Zealand citizens.
Once all citizen returns and departures were accounted for in the year to March 31, provisional net numbers indicated New Zealand lost more than a thousand Kiwis every week.
But why?
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The pandemic restrictions are over and the borders have been open for New Zealanders for more than two years.
Pent-up demand for overseas adventure could explain the initial post-Covid surge in departures, and some New Zealanders who returned during the worst of Covid-19 have left again. But the more recent departures are better attributed to other factors.
As I’ve noted before, what’s perhaps most extraordinary about the huge outward migration of New Zealand citizens is it has coincided with near-record inbound migration of non-citizens.
Facing pressure from business groups amidst a global labour shortage, the previous government responded by massively relaxing immigration settings.
In the year to March 31, New Zealand recorded a net migration gain of 163,000 non-citizens.
Accounting for both the provisional citizen and non-citizen migration flows, there are 111,000 extra people in New Zealand than the year before. Add to that the births and deaths for the same period, and our overall population has increased by approximately 130,000 people in the last year.
During the same period, however, the number of consents issued for new houses dropped 25% on the previous 12 months.
As our population surges and construction slows, the average rent paid by the generation of New Zealanders most likely not to own their own homes has increased. TradeMe Property recorded a median rent increase of 8.3% in the year to March 2024 — more than double the corresponding annual increase in wages.
This renting generation, coincidentally, is the same generation most likely to have left New Zealand.
Of all migrant departures of New Zealand citizens, people between the ages of 18 and 30 made up almost 40%.
But even older New Zealanders — who are more likely to have established careers, families, and assets — are leaving in huge numbers. Accounting for all arrivals and departures, a net total of more than 7500 New Zealand citizens between the ages of 31-40 left our shores.
So, what will stem the bleed?
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In the short term, at least, there is perhaps little economic reason to stay.
The new Government has moved swiftly to tighten immigration settings but, as the full impact of higher interest rates seeps through the economy, unemployment is steadily increasing.
The national unemployment rate currently sits at 4.3% and most economists expect it to climb above 5% in the coming months. The Māori unemployment rate is already at its highest point in four years at 8.2%.
Young Zealanders now find themselves competing with more people for relatively fewer houses and relatively fewer jobs.
And, as we enter a winter of economic discontent, who could blame them for leaving?
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www.1news.co.nz...
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