Stallholder applications open for 2020 Auckland Lantern Festival
Applications are now open for stallholder sites at the Auckland Lantern Festival 2020, which takes place from Thursday, 13 February – Sunday, 16 February in Auckland Domain.
This free and family friendly festival is one of Auckland’s most popular events and New Zealand’s largest cultural festival – with this year’s event attracting more than 165,000 people.
Stalls operate over three evenings, from Friday, 14 to Sunday, 16 February. Stall sites are available for vendors to sell food or crafts, or for the promotion of community organisations and businesses.
The deadline for application is 4pm, Friday, 11 October 2019. To find out more information, go to aucklandnz.com/lantern-festival/stallholder-site-application.
New Year, New Questions You Won’t Solve!
I get smaller every time I take a bath.
What am I?
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What it feels like speaking with a MAGA American:
Me: “Your total is $44.19. Cash or card?”
The customer hands me a credit card but the chip inside it has been hole-punched out.
Me: “Uh, I don’t think this will work.”
Customer: “Why not? It hasn’t expired and I have money in my account.”
Me: “Sir… the chip is gone.”
Customer: “I didn’t want the chip.”
Me: “The card won’t work without it.”
Customer: “It just means I can’t enter my PIN, but you can still swipe it.”
Me: “I don’t think it will work, sir.”
Customer: “Just swipe it.”
I swipe it to prove a point.
Me: “It’s not working, sir.”
Customer: “Then you’re doing it wrong. Swipe it again!”
I do so again with the same result.
Customer: “Maybe you should swipe it so that the magnetic strip isn’t the thing being swiped?”
Me: *Swiping it as suggested.* “Sure, why not? About as much chance of it going through without the magnetic strip as there is without the chip – oh look, it didn’t work.”
Customer: “Your machine must be broken!”