How well do you know your neighbours?
Some people refuse contact with neighbours even when they live in adjacent houses / apartments.
Do you know your neighbours? I don’t. I have been living in the same apartment for three years, but haven’t exchanged a word with my neighbours. Wonder why?
Let me explain. I’m kind of an antisocial. Don’t make friends easily, and don’t talk to strangers. An antiseptic smile is the best I can manage. Prefers to keep to myself and stick to the same circle of friends and relatives. Well, you can call me an introvert. That would explain my lack of interaction with neighbours.
My wife’s exactly the opposite. Yet, she has failed to strike up a conversation with the occupants of the flat across the corridor. The doors face each other. At times, we open the doors simultaneously, and the elderly lady behaves as if we don’t exist. So do the two young adults. We hardly get to see the other neighbours.
How young children make a difference
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Maybe they want to be left alone. I understand that. Yet, it feels strange. Weird, actually!
Humans, they say, are social animals. Our lives are interlinked and interdependent in some way, especially when we share a building. The blank stares and the radio silence in the elevators baffle me. Isn’t this a community? I ask myself.
I lived in another apartment for 20 years, and the experience was totally different. We had plenty of friends in the building and the neighbouring blocks. Some of those friendships exist even today, even after they have moved to other countries.
Much of the indifference may be due to big-city syndrome. People are so busy with their lives that they don’t have time for socialising.-
What’s the difference? One reason was our children. They were young and had plenty of friends. I remember a time when the doors of three neighbouring flats, including ours, were never locked as children kept moving from one house to another to continue their games. That was when my daughter was a toddler. At least 25 children in the neighbourhood would attend my son’s birthdays.
The children’s parents became our friends, and we called on each other for festive occasions and pujas. Sweets used to be sent and received during Diwali. Help used to be sought and given. Seems like another era.
Even after we moved, my wife maintained friendships in our old neighbourhood. She frequently travels there to attend birthdays, pujas, picnics, and other community activities. I often tease her, saying that her social skills haven’t worked in the new neighbourhood. She shrugs it off, saying it takes two people to strike a friendship.
Much of the indifference may be due to big-city syndrome. People are so busy with their lives that they don’t have time for socialising. When you get home from work late, visiting the neighbours is the last thing on tired minds.
What about weekends and holidays? Plans would have been made weeks ahead, and grocery shopping and prayers at a temple or a church are a weekend phenomenon. In homes where husbands and wives work, Saturdays and Sundays can turn into marathon cooking sessions to cover the week. All that doesn’t leave much time for neighbours and friends.
In many cases, it’s down to privacy. People value their privacy, which is why they keep to themselves. Imagine if your neighbours are nosy parkers. They could make lives miserable with incessant questions and the insatiable curiosity to know everything that happens in the neighbourhood.
None of us would want that. Right? Then why am I complaining?
You don’t have to take the biblical phrase “Love Thy Neighbour” literally. A little bit of social contact between neighbours wouldn’t hurt. And you don’t have to be friends with all the neighbours. A hello, a good morning, a smile, or a nod would suffice.
Do I do that? Yes, I do. Especially when I’m riding the elevator. It feels good when others return the gesture. A smile is the best. So keep smiling.
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What's your favourite tomato recipe?
Kia ora neighbours. We know your tomato plants are still growing, but we're looking ahead to the harvest already! If you've got a family recipe for tomatoes, we'd love to see it and maybe publish it in our magazine to share with our readers. Send your recipe to mailbox@nzgardener.co.nz, and if we use it in the mag, you will receive a free copy of our February 2025 issue.
THE ORNAMENTAL BRICK COTTAGE (corner Trafalgar & Manukau)
Corner called Robin's Corner after grocers shop there.
Passengers on all types of conveyances, Horse drawn bus from the late 1870's, then Electric trams from 1903 to 1956, and Diesel and Trolley buses from 1956, down to the present day, evinced an absorbing interest in the brick cottage which stood in Trafalgar Street, adjacent to Manukau Road, Onehunga.
The neat appearance, clean and wholesome, looking as though it was hosed down every day of its existence, was the subject of much speculation of latter day viewers. There were to be found in the ranks of the historians of Onehunga, some who said that the pretty little cottage had been built by a New Zealand Royal Fencible in the 1847-56 period. Others, however, considered it was erected by a discharged Fencible in the 1860s. Some said it was erected by the Government for the senior-sergeant of Fencibles stationed in Onehunga.
All conjectures of the would-be-pundits led to a private investigator delving into the old records to answer an inquiry directly submitted to the Onehunga Borough Council by an Arts Diploma holder of the Elam School of Arts. The Town Clerk, the late Mr. Norman L. Norman ascertained from a reliable source that the brick cottage stood on a part allotment of land which belonged to John Beattie, a Fencible, ex¬ Royal Marines, who came to New Zealand with the Fifth Division of pensioners on the troopship "Berhampore" arriving at Auckland on June, 16th, 1849. The original grant of a contracted area of land, something greater than one acre, situated at the corner of Manukau Road and Trafalgar Street, was issued to John Beattie in 1856. The corner, thereafter, was known as Beattie's Corner, and retained this appellation until Mr. J. Robins built his store in the late 1880's on a site opposite to John Beattie's acre, when the name was Robin's corner, supplanting Beattie's Corner.
The purchaser of the section on which the cottage stood was Thomas Henry Massey, believed to be a Midlander from England. Massey was noted for his flair for artistic construction in brick and it is said that he was responsible for the design of the facades of the Branches erected by the Auckland Savings Bank in Newmarket and Onehunga in 1885.
The house in Trafalgar street, with a chimney at either end, its slate roof and white stone ornamental facings, was an object of interest to local residents and horse drawn bus passengers as well, while it was being erected.
The bricks were made at Avondale to Massey's specifications, and any that did not measure up to the standard required by the builder were rejected.
The actual year in which the cottage was built is not recorded in archives of the Borough Council. But two residents who were asked about 30 years ago, (1934) to fix a year which would be approximately correct, said that the cottage was occupied by Thomas Massey in 1878.
The edifice being finished off at the present moment is a bit different from what was originally there as described above.
Poll: When should the tree go up? 🎄
From what we've heard, some Christmas trees are already being assembled and decorated.
What are your thoughts on the best time to get your Christmas tree up?
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4.6% Second half of November
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43.4% 1st December
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17.6% A week before Christmas
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33.3% Whenever you wish
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1.1% Other - I'll share below
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