A Lesson on being a Sports Parent

Naomi from Belmont

This incident happened on Saturday, 12 June, a J5 game of rugby, Glenfield vs Mahurangi (Warkworth).... I posted on the Mahurangi rugby facebook page but of course they quickly took it down for obvious reasons as you will read:

At the end of our son’s rugby game, a Mother came charging at my son (age 8), towered over him and told him off for how he played against her son. She didn’t like it - yet it was all legal play. When this Mother came charging at him, finger pointing and all - my son broke down sobbing. A Grandma, whose grandson plays on the same team as my son saw what was going on, rushed over, grabbed him and while hugging my son tightly she exchanged a few heated words with this Mother.

Meanwhile I was on the other side of the field and seeing what I thought was happening I strode over as a raging Lioness.

I did not swear to this Mother - as that is not the example of adult behaviour I want to set for the children around.

I did not make threats to this Mother, as to why she couldn’t have approached the Parent rather than attack a child to resolve her obvious frustration.

But I raised my voice for all to hear to point out that this is not the type of sportsmanship we should be displaying to our children.

It is not ok for another parent to run down into sobbing tears another child! Kids have come to play to have fun and learn what it means to be a good team player.

Parents - if you don’t like to see your child being tackled, rammed over, pushed and shoved - all legally, then you need to check yourself and stay away from the kids games. When your child cries because he was pushed or shoved then you empower them by encouragement showing love and to be strong but not turnaround and go after the child that played him.

To the Mother who came at my child….Did you think that I would allow you to treat my child in such a manner? Therefore unravelling my parenting of teaching him to respect all? you belittled him in front of other children and parents, so did you really think I would just stand back and allow your actions to be tolerated?

You do not know of the sensitivity and low self esteem of my child which we work hard to build on day after day… You do not know our son has been diagnosed with APD and that this is his first time ever playing rugby so this is a big deal for him! You came after a child and did not consider his make-up and the damage you may have caused, all because you could not handle seeing your child being schooled in rugby.

Why then did you try to blend in with your crowd of supporters when you heard me singing (roaring) about your despicable behaviour and not come at me the way you came at my child?

You are a Mother…. I too am a Mother …. I could have reacted differently I could have justifiably reacted quite violently but that is not my make-up. I would never lower my crown to such a low level and then how would that impact on your child?

Your behaviour did not give me the chance to calm myself down and think rationally on how to approach this situation especially when you rampaged at my son.

I hope you learn from this incident, I hope you do not react like this in future games because I can’t guarantee another Mother would not react non-violently to how you broke my son down.

Next time, approach adult to adult not adult to child. We want to be great examples to our Tamariki they deserve that much!

I will continue to teach and raise my son to become a man to respect all. To become a man who will not allow this incident scar him from the kiwi game of rugby. I will remind him to handle such matters where he is to ask them to STOP, WALK away and TELL someone. I will continue to teach him to be strong and never let anyone tell him he is a failure! He will be strong to face all that life will come at him, why? because he is being raised by a strong phenomenal Queen of a Mother who will support her child - in the best way that will empower him and his team mates!