Enjoy fragrant lilies thanks to NZ Gardener
This July, NZ Gardener has teamed up with NZ Bulbs to offer you a FREE pack of mixed oriental lily bulbs when you purchase a 1 or 2-year magazine subscription*. Your bulbs will be sent out in late August, the perfect time to plant in time to have fragrant Christmas flowers.
With a subscription to NZ Gardener, you’ll enjoy professional and inspirational garden advice, convenient monthly delivery to your home, exclusive subscriber-only discounts, big savings off the retail price, PLUS subscribe before 28 July to enjoy free lily bulbs! *T&Cs apply.
New Year, New Questions You Won’t Solve!
I get smaller every time I take a bath.
What am I?
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What it feels like speaking with a MAGA American:
Me: “Your total is $44.19. Cash or card?”
The customer hands me a credit card but the chip inside it has been hole-punched out.
Me: “Uh, I don’t think this will work.”
Customer: “Why not? It hasn’t expired and I have money in my account.”
Me: “Sir… the chip is gone.”
Customer: “I didn’t want the chip.”
Me: “The card won’t work without it.”
Customer: “It just means I can’t enter my PIN, but you can still swipe it.”
Me: “I don’t think it will work, sir.”
Customer: “Just swipe it.”
I swipe it to prove a point.
Me: “It’s not working, sir.”
Customer: “Then you’re doing it wrong. Swipe it again!”
I do so again with the same result.
Customer: “Maybe you should swipe it so that the magnetic strip isn’t the thing being swiped?”
Me: *Swiping it as suggested.* “Sure, why not? About as much chance of it going through without the magnetic strip as there is without the chip – oh look, it didn’t work.”
Customer: “Your machine must be broken!”