Cannot contact IRD or access returns and getting threatening letters

Kim from Oxford

Hey does anyone out there have any ideas on how to contact IRD. I have called their 0800 number and i just get a message saying they are too busy and to call back later or go online. Then it just hangs up on me, there’s no option to leave a message and no option to remain on hold.

I have been online and requested they call me via myIRD as I need some assistance in filling out a return and correcting some gst returns someone else did for me and did wrong. However, 5 months after asking them to phone me and making it clear I could not do the return without someone calling me, still no one has called.

Now i cant even log in to ask them to call me, again. After I log in with ‘realme’ it asks me for a second secure authentication. I have no idea what the username/password for that is supposed to be as I have never set anything up for that and never been asked for it before. My existing realme login does not work for this, and there are no links on the page so that I can set one up (normally on a login oage you have links saying stuff like “forgot your password” or “reset your username/password”. There is nothing on this screen). The only options are to enter a user name and password and as I have no idea what they should be I cant. The only other option on the screen is to click cancel, which must logs me out of the whole thing and returns me to the main IRD login screen

So….
I cannot fill out my returns as the forms I was seeing on myIR, dont contain the fields I need, to put the figures into.
I cannot call them as their message just says they are too busy then hangs up on me.
I cannot get them to call me.
Now I cant even access myIR.

And I am getting letters with threatening subject lines (I cant actually read their contents as I cant log into myIR to read them)

Ive even tried emailing their general customer feedback email address and a survey email address I found (the only ird email addresses I can find which are not no-reply bounces) and no one has replied to those emails.

How can it be legal, for IRD to just threaten people and take their money? But not have a working phone number or any email addresses for anyone to contact them on. And not call people 5 months after the have asked them to (because they cannot do the returns till someone calls them to explain where to enter the return info into a form with only two vaguely/nonsensically, named fields), and then on top of all that, decide to just out of the blue, add in a second layer of authentication on their website, but have no information on how to set up a username and password to use for that second authentication, thereby making it impossible for anyone to login to myIR and even read their threatening emails, let alone do anything to resolve them?

I have a lot of business expenses I am unable to declare and very worried they will just take money out of my account based on my turnover and not my actual (significantly less) taxable income. Im just a sole charge contractor, and don't have the funds to pay thousands to an accountant just to get someone from ird to pick up the phone and call me.

Does anyone out there have any ideas on how to contact them?

Or maybe someone has been given a direct dial number for a real person at ird that they might be willing to share with me? (Your name will never be mentioned! Lol). I did have a number like that myself on my old phone but it died suddenly and the contact list couldn’t be retrieved from the dead ph the attempts to do so are a saga of their own).

So im really hoping someone out there might of an alternative contact method which is NOT any of the following methods I have tried which have failed:

The 0800 775 247 number (which is apparently always too short staffed for anyone to ever pick up the phone)
MyIR
The two emails address i could find which did not begin with “noreply@…”

Honestly do business not realise how bloody frustrating it is to receive an email that “requires your action” in some way, from an email address you cannot respond to!

Alternatively if you work at ird. Please call me on Monday 020 406 41485, and if i don’t answer because I am in a work meeting, please leave me a message with an actual number that is not 0800 775 247 that I can call you back on!

Ok rant over, but if anyone has an actual working number that i can call to speak to an actual real human being at ird, could you please share it with me? I don’t care what department, at least if a real person answers I can beg them to let me speak to a real person in the gst returns dept (or record the call as yet more evidence of the ridiculous impossibility of getting to speak to a real person at ird, if they wont put me thru).

At this rate maybe i could make up a youtube or other social media audio and video series entitled… ‘the long hunt for a real person at ird’, or something equally sarcastic…

At least till I cant afford internet after they withdraw all my savings to pay my horrifically inflated tax “assessment” that their combination of unusable systems and uncontactable departments has made impossible for me to file an actual return and expenses against!

Actually maybe thats what I could do next. Record every failed call to their 0800 number, till I have many hours worth, then post them on youtube or similar….till I set a Guinness record for the person who went to the most hours of effort to try and do her gst return, but still got penalised by ird because that was easier than actually calling her!
Despite how boring being on hold with IRD would be to listen to, I sort of feel at this stage, that getting my first million views on a long boring video of IRD hold music, and ‘sorry we are too busy, please call another day’ hangups, might happen faster than anyone real at IRD actually ever phoning me!

Seriously though

Does anyone know how i can actually get to speak to someone there? Or is the idea of real people at ird just a myth? How ridiculous is it that i have to take to social media because after 5 months of trying I don't have a way to communicate with a real person at IRD to find out how to fill in the gst return form !

Someone did call me about 5.5-6 months ago and told me now to fill out the gst return adjustment forms. Problem is the form and form fields they described to me and told me to enter the numbers into, do not actually exist on the gst return forms that were available to me when I was able to access myIR. They seemed to be describing an entirely different form that is not available to my myIR account.