Well-timed repair attempts are key to success
When you're in a heated argument with your partner, you might feel like you're ready to burst with frustration. But then your partner cracks an inside joke that makes you smile and laugh.
Suddenly you're not as frustrated. Boom, tension defused.
This is a classic "repair attempt" that we encourage couples to use regularly, and humour is one of the most common repairs that couples use when experiencing conflict.
In What Makes Love Last, Dr John Gottman claims that "well-timed repairs are part of the dance between two people who know and trust each other."
Here are some repair attempts that you can use if you are in a conflict with your partner and need an effective way to defuse tension:
Ask your partner, "What do you need?"
Express affection, physically or verbally.
Use humour (but avoid any humour that seems sarcastic or critical)
Take responsibility when appropriate
Understand by expressing empathy
Reinforce "we-ness" by complimenting your relationship overall
Using these kinds of repair attempts will shut down many confrontations and train you to be more aware of each other's needs. They aren't a quick fix to recurring problems, but repair attempts can prevent negative behaviour and feelings from overwhelming a relationship.
Poll: Do you set New Year’s resolutions?
🎉 2026 is almost here!
We’re curious ... how do you welcome it?
Do you set resolutions, follow special traditions, or just go with the flow?
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10.4% Yes! New Year, New Me
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20.8% Yes - but I rarely stick to them
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68.7% Nah - not for me
Poll: Is it ok to regift something that you have been given?
🎁 Holiday Gift Chat!
Do you ever regift?
What’s your take on asking for a receipt if a gift doesn’t fit?
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78.8% Yes! It's better to regift what I don't need
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21.2% No. It's the thought and effort that matters
Today’s Mind-Bender is the Last of the Year! Can You Guess It Before Everyone Else? 🌟🎁🌲
I dance in the sky with green and gold, a spectacle few are lucky to behold; I’m best seen in the south, a celestial sight—what am I, lighting up the New Zealand night?
Do you think you know the answer? Simply 'Like' this post and we'll post the answer in the comments below at 2pm on the day!
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