A growing trend that couples are just too tired for sex. How to revive your sex life!

Ann from Relationship Wellbeing Specialist

There is a growing trend that most couples in long term relationships are too tired for sex.

There are many reasons for this, including physical and emotional stress from our ever increasing busy schedules, leaving less relationship and family time and our insatiable desire to be connected with others via technology.

While it’s quite common to have a reduced frequency in sex after a few years of being in a long term relationship, sex continuously plays an important part in any relationship.

Sex is important on many levels because:

It increases your self-esteem and overall well-being
It re-establishes your relationship bond very time you have sex.
It helps you to feel safe and secure.
It’s a natural mood enhancer and antidepressant
It allows you to relax, open up and confidentially trust your partner.

How you revive your sex life with your partner

There’s no rule on how often couples should be having sex. It’s about talking and working out together what’s going work for you both and your lifestyle.

Some couples are fine with once a week, others once a month and others need more frequent intimacy.

John Gottman PHD, famous couple’s researcher says “every positive thing you do in your relationship is foreplay”, so if you can be more aware and develop this mind-set, then this may help you prepare the ground for more opportunities for sex.

Attempt to go to bed at the same time and get out of bed at the same time, so you’re on the same schedule.

If you can’t go to bed together, go tuck in the other partner in- this is a good opportunity to increase connection.

Leave the technology out of the bedroom.

Schedule non-sexual touching, cuddling and talk about what’s going on in your life.

Do positive things for your partner without asking, so there is more time for the two of you.

Even when life is so busy and demanding, it’s really important to plan in ‘connection time’.

This very important connection time is often pre- cursor to having more sex, because it increases your connection and increases your sense of safety and care in the relationship.