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After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.
"So, how is everything going?" inquired God.
"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breath taking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one … View moreAfter three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.
"So, how is everything going?" inquired God.
"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breath taking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem…
It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain."
And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc. She felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more 'symmetrically balanced'.
"That's a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away."
And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes
Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.
"Well, Eve, how is my favourite creation?"
"Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."
God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Let's see.... where did I put that useless boob?"
Now doesn't THAT make more sense than the rib story?
This little beauty could've and should've been a better solution than Lenny's little train set which is still being built all these years later.
This new glass-bottomed train in China is designed to look like a Panda.
The new lithium battery-powered train cars is part of an effort … View moreThis little beauty could've and should've been a better solution than Lenny's little train set which is still being built all these years later.
This new glass-bottomed train in China is designed to look like a Panda.
The new lithium battery-powered train cars is part of an effort to bring more sustainable public transportation Chengdu, the capital of China's Sichuan province.
Each train carriage can hold 120 customers, and from the looks of this video posted on YouTube, it might even be conducive to getting in a little remote work on the ride.
This new train system is essentially a suspended monorail whose cars incorporate floor-to-ceiling windows and glass bottoms to allow for 270-degree visibility.
That, coupled with its perch above the city's treetops, makes for views far better than what you might find in an underground labyrinth of train lines.
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Now, in these times of chaos, sadness, loneliness and uncertainty, so many of us have and will continue to have strong opinions, one way or another.
Now, as you all may have gathered from previous posts of mine, I'm all of getting vaccinated to lessen the symptoms that are the nightmares we … View moreNow, in these times of chaos, sadness, loneliness and uncertainty, so many of us have and will continue to have strong opinions, one way or another.
Now, as you all may have gathered from previous posts of mine, I'm all of getting vaccinated to lessen the symptoms that are the nightmares we all called Covid (or Delta).
I would love it if everyone got vaccinated, however, that's never going to happen.
While I may not agree with the anti- vaxers or the people who choose not to get vaccinated (not including those who have medical conditions), I do respect your choice as I would like to think you would respect mine to get vaccinated.
Here in the Pacific region of the Southern Hemisphere, certain parts of Australia have risen in continuous protests on their streets, N.S.W. & Victoria. Sadly the latest rounds in Victoria are against the mandate to force the building sector to get vaccinated otherwise they aren't allowed on site.
I've been thinking of what compromise would there to be to not hinder what is essentially an essential business.
And then it came to me. Italy, just last week, has laid down a new law for these trying times and is due to take effect on 15 October 2021.
It's a great compromise to both sides of the fence of vaccinations.
What the Italian government have done is they've adopted one of the strictest Covid measures in the world last week, requiring all public and private sector workers to have a vaccination certificate, a negative coronavirus test or a certificate that they have recently recovered from the infection.
The goal of the move is to persuade people to get vaccinated and reduce the infection in one of the most affected countries by the coronavirus pandemic.
However, I personally believe that this is a great compromise for those who will not or cannot vaccinate - just provide a negative Covid test.
Apparently, a worker who won't be able to present a valid health certificate will be suspended without pay but cannot be fired.
Those who ignore the ordinance and come to work without any of the required certificates will be fined between 600 and 1,500 euros.
The idea of Covid certification was initially related to travel, but Italy very quickly started to apply it to places like museums, gyms and the interior of restaurants.
Although there have been protests against the measures in recent weeks, most political parties as well as major employers' associations have backed them, hoping there will be no further closures of the economy.
Italy, after Britain, has the most coronavirus-positive deaths in Europe, more than 130,000 since the start of the pandemic.
About 74 percent of 60 million people received at least the first dose, and about 68 percent were fully vaccinated.
As I said, it was just an interesting thought I had spinning around in my head.
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We’re looking … View moreAucklanders, we've finally moved to Level 3! YAY! 🥳
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Jennifer, a manager at Kmart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening.
After sorting through a stack of resumes she found four people who were equally qualified.
Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would … View moreJennifer, a manager at Kmart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening.
After sorting through a stack of resumes she found four people who were equally qualified.
Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, Jennifer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"
The first man replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning."
"That's very good!" replied Jennifer. "And now you sir," she asked the second man.
"Hmmm... let me see... A BLINK! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of."
“Excellent!" said Jennifer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed." She then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.
"Well, out at my dad's farm, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."
Jennifer was very impressed with the third answer and thought she had found her man. “It's hard to beat the speed of light," she said.
Turning to Ernest, the fourth and final man, Jennifer posed the same question.
Old Ernest replied, "After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA."
"WHAT?" said Jennifer, stunned by the response.
"Oh sure," said Ernest. "You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already popped my pants."
Ernest is the new greeter at the Kmart near you!
An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other.
Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night.
The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of … View moreAn old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other.
Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night.
The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"
Neighbours feared him. They believed he practiced magic, because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighbourhood. The old man liked the fact that he was feared.
To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98.
His wife had a closed casket at the wake.
After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow.
Her neighbours, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?"
The wife put down her drink and said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down, and you know men won't ask for directions."
Laksa is a popular Malaysian coconut noodle dish. It is a fragrant, delicious and warming seafood dish. This dish is prepared by our Advanced cookery student Timmika prepared at home during the recent lockdown.
This wonderful website has now updated to include takeaways and vaccination centres - yay!😀
Libby & Ben, I love your work & keep up the excellent work😉
www.neighbourly.co.nz...
Perfect for us here in Auckland, upon reaching level 3 after so long in level 4😉
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Waitākere Refuse and Recycling Centre is now open to the public Mon to Fri 8am-5pm and Sat-Sun 9am-4pm with limited services.
When coming, please remember:
• A face mask or face cover, gloves, and covered footwear must be worn at all time while on site. No entry without it.
• You must … View moreWaitākere Refuse and Recycling Centre is now open to the public Mon to Fri 8am-5pm and Sat-Sun 9am-4pm with limited services.
When coming, please remember:
• A face mask or face cover, gloves, and covered footwear must be worn at all time while on site. No entry without it.
• You must unload your own waste. Once on site, please unload as quickly as you can.
• No more than two people per vehicle. No children.
• The CRC re-use shops are closed.
• Contactless payment only. No cash.
• Check Google Maps for live updates on wait times.
Looking for affordable, pre-loved and new essentials? Then we have great news for you! We are back and are now able to offer you our contactless shopping options for essential items from your local Red Cross Shop.
Although, our physical doors remain closed on level 3, you can simply call us to … View moreLooking for affordable, pre-loved and new essentials? Then we have great news for you! We are back and are now able to offer you our contactless shopping options for essential items from your local Red Cross Shop.
Although, our physical doors remain closed on level 3, you can simply call us to check if we have what you need and then have the items, prepared for contactless collection.
If you need hand-sanitiser to keep you and your family safe, we have got you sorted as well.
Please note: We are not accepting donations on level 3.
For contact details, just hit the button below.
Be kind, stay safe!
We will get through this once again.
See you all soon!!
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10% discount !! Any job quoted and accepted from September 12th - September 31th, 2021 we will take off 10% !!!!!!
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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?"
The bartender considers it, then agrees.
The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat.
He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano.
The rat … View moreA man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?"
The bartender considers it, then agrees.
The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat.
He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano.
The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.
After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the night, the bartender thinks that nothing could possibly top the first trick so he agrees.
The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat's music.
While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $100,000.00 for the bullfrog.
"Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale."
The stranger increases the offer to $250,000.00 cash up front.
"No," he insists, "he's not for sale."
The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $500,000.00 cash.
The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money.
"Are you insane?" the bartender demanded.
"That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere $500,000!"
"Don't worry about it." the man answered. "The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist."
An elderly lady was stopped and about to pull into a parking space when a young man in his new red Mercedes went around her and parked in the space she was waiting for.
The little old lady was so upset that she went up to the man and said, "I was going to park there!"
The man said, … View moreAn elderly lady was stopped and about to pull into a parking space when a young man in his new red Mercedes went around her and parked in the space she was waiting for.
The little old lady was so upset that she went up to the man and said, "I was going to park there!"
The man said, "That's what you can do when you're young and quick.”
This really upset the lady even more, so she got in her car and backed it up and then she stomped on the gas and plowed right into his Mercedes.
The young man ran back to his car and asked, "What did you do that for?"
The little old lady smiled and told him, "That's what you can do when you're old and rich!"
"How come you're late?" asks the bartender as the blonde waitress walks in the door.
"It was awful," she explains. "I was walking down Elm street and there was this terrible accident. A man was lying in the middle of the street.
He was thrown from his car. His leg was… View more"How come you're late?" asks the bartender as the blonde waitress walks in the door.
"It was awful," she explains. "I was walking down Elm street and there was this terrible accident. A man was lying in the middle of the street.
He was thrown from his car. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere.
Thank goodness I took that first aid course, all my training came back to me in a flash."
"What did you do?" asks the bartender.
"I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!"
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